Pissing off people in the Willy T.
I just read Chris Records webpage (http://billyfro.blogspot.com) and I am laughing so fucking hard that I have severly pissed off everyone around me working on their final papers. Damn that kid is sick. Some of the paragraph long rants he comes up with sound like he has one of those Mad-Lib books and is just putting in weird shit in the blanks.
Most annoying construction in Lexington:
a TIE between Nicholasville Road and South Broadway
Congratulations to all the politicians and workers for making my life a traffic stopping white knuckled HELL on earth!
Dude, I can just picture Bickett trying to pick out that Vanessa Carlton song. Fuck looking at him dirty, I'd have beat the shit out him!
I still can't decide whether or not I want to jump on the Avril Lavigne fan club band wagon. Some of her songs are catchy, some even interesting lyrically, but my GOD...she's trying so hard to be the anti-Britney/Christina that she's almost come full circle. She did sing at the Viper Room in LA so I have to give her credit for that. Also, I'm proud of her for wearing black bras and white wife-beaters. I swear that skinny little girl has been going through my damn closet...and I don't like how she looks. She also needs to tone down the black eye makeup. It's definately coon season.
mandypants [3:53 PM]
That "New Car" Smell
Ok, so I got bored today and I realize that it'll probably rain, but I wanted to get my car detailed. There's something about having a clean car. It's almost like you get a reprieve for all the sins you've ever committed and you can start over. The Mexicans that washed my car put some sort of air freshener in there and it smells so weird. Any of you that live close enough to me are more than welcome to come try to guess what it is. They called it "New Car" but I think it smells more like "weird library basement" or something else very spooky. I'll be taking bets on what the actual components of the scent are, and if you guess correctly you will win a free ass kicking from yours truly the very next time I see you and happen to be having a bad day. It's sort of like that guess the flavor of the white skittle game. Who knows?
So I'm talking to Chris Record and he goes off on me telling me to shut the fuck up that I'm depressed and upset and to quit wasting my time and writing ability on feeling sorry for myself. He wants me to compile a collection of writing and let him review it. If anyone else thinks this is a good idea, you're more than welcome to email me and tell me you'd like a copy if I actually do this. I'd have to throw some of my traditional Seinfeld-esque rants in there, along with some poems, and maybe a bit of lyrical writing for good measure. It's amazing that someone as full of discontent and angst such as myself hasn't published more than the few poems that I have. I'm surprised I'm not out on tour signing books yet. We shall see what the future holds for Kristen Amanda. For now, I'm looking for something to inspire me to the point that my pen absolutely bleeds. Bring it on.
I hope that today is one of those days for you when you actually stop to notice that the sky is blue and the world hasn't ended yet. Go get ice cream. You deserve it. You work hard. I love you. Stop biting your nails; it makes everyone around you crazy. Oh yeah, one more thing...before you ask a stupid question, read all signs in front of you. Chances are that if you'd take the time to read, the questions would already be answered. Damn, this is starting to sound like a horoscope...but I guess it's for all signs.
mandypants [3:29 PM]
Back in Black
I never thought I'd say it, but Donovan Hall feels like home. There's a few days space between when I'm stupposed to be out of my summer house and into my fall house, so Jordan (being the Super Roommate that she is) has graciously allowed me to make her life a hell for a few days. All my stuff is packed up and I can't ever find anything. I'm one of those people who thinks that everything has a place and it should always be there...I love to be organized...so this is pretty much making me insane. I can't find my journal. I can't find my stapler. It's really making me nuts. If I can make it to the first day of August, maybe I won't die.
GET THIS...I work in this museum...it's pretty cool because I get tons of time to just write and read. Perfect for me, really. Not this weekend though. Anybody know what a Breyer horse is? For those of us that played with horses when we were growing up, you already know. It's a model horse...they're about $50 each...and people collect them. There are some really sick people who actually dress the damn things up and have "horse shows" in which they will compete against the exact same damn horse! This is SICK! Moving on, this weekend is Breyerfest where I work and I have to be around these people all weekend. They are insane. They are like that neighbor you have who you knew was a bit quirky but you never thought would be a serial killer. These people blend in quite well, but the fact is that they are 30 year olds who still play with model horses. It's a disesase. It's annoying. It's BREYERFEST! God help me.
I've been talking to some of my best friends from high school, and we've decided what to do when we graduate. We're going to buy a bar and run the place...it'll be like our own little Coyote Ugly. They suggest that I be the DJ, and they have assigned various other positions such as bartender, bouncer, bookkeeping, and atmosphere upkeep to eachother. I think this is quite possibly the best idea we've had in ages. Almost as cool as that time in 7th grade when Jackie called me flipping out because Brad Kaufman was in her pool. I'll get to live with the people I love and we can watch each others backs...we'll be horribly intimidating to any suitors that may come calling. They'll have to pass strenuous interviews to be allowed to take anyone out. We can have a torture chamber under the club for anyone who steps out of line or gets too close. We'd be unstopable. We'll just pick a city where we can go to graduate school and run this club at night. I can already see the line forming at the door...and you've gotta dress to impress...haha!
Oh yeah, one other thing sucks about moving. I have 2 CD's in my car. That's IT. I have listened to them nonstop for the past week and I'm dying for something new. Feel free to send me presents. Oh wait...I don't know what my address is...nevermind.
I sent out an email to some people from my past a few weeks ago in a desperate attempt to keep touch with them...and some of them actually wrote back! It was amazing. Josh Luscombe reminded me of a skirt that I wore freshman year at Lone Oak and how someone said that I must be "kinky." He also reminded me of what a dork I was and still am. I've done some really stupid things in my life, all of which I am proud of. She who dies with the longest list of retarded things she's done wins. Catch me if you can!
It's almost time to go hang out with the serial killer horse collectors. You should all take a moment and pray that they don't get to me. Love and kisses to you all. Especiall if you're in England. What a lovely place to be....beats the hell out of Kentucky.
mandypants [11:46 AM]